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Episode 130: Lacking in Substance and in Fact




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Hail friends,

Tonight I find myself starring in a series of mini-adventures. I won't share all of them with you now. Neither of them are of any particular merit. Mini-adventures throughout the land. And yet... maybe they're all connected after all?

The spies and poets of sosaria have fixated their eye on this thief.

Let me explain:


What's this?

A pouch containing 38 items and weighing 173 stones...!

(I dig in.)

Pouch after pouch after pouch, I dig in deeper and deeper and deeper. Oh, what sorts of treasure await me? What riches require such elaborate anti-Chad protection?

I dig in to find an anti-climactic conclusion.

An old school, no-longer-spawning, ID wand. He had it. I wanted it.

"Kal Ort Por!" Lothar says as I take my prize.

(Success.)

A treasure not of any particular worth. But a treasure that I hadn't stolen before.

I add it to my collection.

I poke around the Gate of Yew, patrol the champion spawns of Despise, check out the newly buffed up dragons of Destard, stalk a few reds at Trinsic Gate, and I finally find something to ammuse myself in the City of Britain.

Money Maker... and he's making donations to the library.

I take a closer look.

I watch him as he makes his rounds, donates a few dozen daishos, and collects a few thousand points. There were no treasures to be found here. (He was only on auto-pilot for library point donation, not prize collection.)

I grab my shurikens and do what must be done.

(Victory.)

I return to scalp his bones and take pictures of his embarrassing looking body. I stop short as I spot a book on the table.

I reads:

Overblown? Self-congratulatory? People crowning themselves 'King of Thieves'?

Too many gay jokes and penis jokes you say...!?

*gasp*

I'VE BEEN DISCOVERED!

*runs away in fear as the queer poets continue their congratulatory coronation of me*













(Penis.)


'Til next time!


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