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Episode 126: GM Balendros

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Hail friends,

This story begins with another glorious day at Yew Gate... but I wouldn't be there for long.

The usual random assortment of goodies are scattered in the packs of opposing forces as I take a peek. Some are more tempting than others but this was all testing my patience. The chances for spotting something worth stealing were slim and far between. (It's not like I'd find an Eye of Travesty or something.)

I find myself longing for a change in scenery and I need a way out.

I find it.

A key to the fabled ship "Slow Forward!" And what's this? In the hands of FiEnd? Oh, no, no. That won't do. A ship such as this has been in the hands of this lesser man for long enough.

I take it upon myself to liberate it from his backpack.

I take a look around and find that the battle has moved towards the gate in my direction. I look again and find 11 sets of well equip eyes that would jump at the chance of killing a thief.

On one hand, the worst I face is death. On the other hand, glory awaits!

I step out of the shadows. And through the crowd I snatch it and casually walk back around.

I go grey and hold my breath.

I wait and hide again.

FiEnD continues to fight as the worst is behind me. His aggressor flag would last longer than mine. No need to hurry in case he left to get his spare key in his bank box. (No ambush awaits.)

"Kal Ort Por!"

Large Dragon Ship? Nay.

Full cargo hold? No dice.

I set a course "forward left" and try to get my bearings. I change of scenery I wanted and a change of scenery I receive.

And I find myself in the City of Nujelm.

Was I in tram or in fel? I check the island city and find no trees, signs, or other passers by.


(I know one way to find out.)


I double check the island and I find no one. But I get a nagging sense that keeps tugging and whinning at me in all the wrong ways.

"No! I don't want to go shopping for two more hours!"

"No! I don't want to adopt!"

(She just won't stop.)

But there was one more location that needed checking. I give in and take a look.

The Prism of Light awaits and Lefty the Gatekeeper is in my way.

He requires 10,000 of my hard earned gold pieces for me to continue. I play his game. (For now.)

With my golden ticket in hand I enter the chocolate factory with all the wonders of the world held within! What treasures would I find inside the pockets of my prism-loving victims?

I climb down the ladder and get what's coming to me.

Son of a bitch.



*rolls up sleeves*

I wait for their response.

It comes.


The most power hungry of the power hungry game masters! They say he can send one-hundred 'I'm sorry, but you're shit out of luck. N00b.' messages a minute! They say he banned his own mother from the game for fumbling a x-heal and making him look bad in front of his other power hungry, mother-hating buddies!

They had a falling out. It was ugly. She tried to make amends but he was busy with a delicious dinner of ham and cookies.

A man of many talents and a worthy adversary, indeed.

*rolls up sleeves*

The gaunglet is thrown.

He's nervous. He's cornered. He doesn't know what to do.

He speaks.

He backs down.


A man of many talents?


A man of exaggurated tales, I say.


*pumps fist*

'Til next time!

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