Hail friends,
Another day and another imposter! (Yes, it's true!)
This story begins 2 months ago. An ominous message appear on my message board:In accordance with my teachings, I follow the 3 steps of redemption in situations such as these:
(My hands are tied in this matter and I follow the teachings accordingly.)
- On the first occassion, respond politely with calm and assertiveness.
- On the second occassion, respond directly with a commanding voice and with fortitude.
- If they mistake you for a woman, your response is expected (but not limited) to subjugating them to public displays of shame with the intent of causing life long mental trauma.
"No one named 'Wisdom lives here." I respond and consider the matter closed... but he just wouldn't let it be.
"dont act like hat i know ya trying not to use wisdom" -Hydrocap
"you know who wisdom s i am long time old frind i am trying to fin here" -Hydrocap
His drunken slur is with equal amounts of cunning and furocity (and with a little bit of unwanted man-on-man flirtation thrown in my direction.)
(I take the necessary measures.)"If this so-called Wisdom is pretending to be me then I'm both angered and flattered by this wannabe!" -Chad Sexington
"Good day, sir!" -Chad Sexington
"(See episode 105)" -Chad Sexington
With my good deed for the day complete, I go to the deepest regions of Fire dungeon to spend my "good deed credit" and steal to my heart's content. But I go with my eyes wide open. This Wisdom she-devil must be a powerful one indeed. Perhaps an ageless witch or an ancient goddess. Whoever she was, it was clear that her vagina was tastey enough to push men such as Hydrocap to the brink of insanity. I may have only been in correspondence with with through bulletin board... but I can spot a man who wants to give me fellatio when I see them.
He hasn't been the first one I've dodged.
(The woes of being in the public eye. A very cruel and unforgiving eye.)
No matter!
I continue my trek into Fire and put my earlier troubles to rest.
The sun rises and set. The wheels that propel the world forward stops for no one. And Lady Tammy is right where I left her after all these long months.(Some things never change.)
(Yup. Right where I left you.)
But before I go into action, I take a look at the others rooms... and it's a good thing I did!Lord Leonidas!
It's alawys nice to see new faces! There he was with kryss in hand and the endless flow of angry demons charging at him with their demonic rage.Still with 4 murder counts I'd have to play this one safe. I go for Lady Tammy first; the one who wouldn't draw too much unwanted attention.
Just like old times.
But only 4 piles of powder!
I stop.
I squint.
And I spot a second pile peeking out from behind her gold.::excellent::
With no book labeled "The Deal" to be displayed for my eyes only, I do what must be done.
Success!
Down the hall I go. Lady Tammy only had 4 charge left on her bag. I didn't want her to startle the young lord before I got to him.
I pop open his pack and find a myriad of treasures!
It's of my good fortune that he's positioned himself at the door. With the demons out of reach of me and with the room's walls providing me excellent cover, I go to Plan B.
First the powder.
Then the Treasure Maps...
...I take them one by one.
Then I take another look. This was no vampire. He was relying on his Orange Petals for his survival. If not by my blade... I'd fell him by other means.
The plan was simple:
Take my chances of being detected, dip my hand has his 26 stone pile of Orange Petals, strip him of them one-by-one if need be, and watch the hilarity ensue.
I reach out my paw......and fail the steal. I fail and fail and fail again. Three times I try and my time is up. His Ethereal Horse Statuette suddenly plops to the side. Then his gold starts moving side to side.
His powder! His T-maps! His magical shield!
Missing!?
(I wonder what happened to them. ^^)He soon mounts his steed and so I leave to finish what I started.
I return to Tammy one last time to see if I've left anything behind as Lord Leonidas trots by and throws her an undeserved stink eye.
I take my powder, I take my Treasure Maps, I take my shield, and when it's all said and done let's go ahead and make it official:
Good day.
Yet... I return home with anxiety in my step. It's tales such as these and bring out the worst in people. It's tales such as these that bring out the imposters...
...It's tales such as these where men such as Hydrocap can no longer contain their undying love for me and my kind. If there were only some way of telling him I have no idea who Wisdom is. The circular woes of my life.
(This will require further investigation.)
'Til next time!