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Episode 085: All that stands between is a giant rune beetle.

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Hail friends,

Through my travels I have seen many things and met many people.

I've wandered through the darkest of mines and have stood in the shadow of the most fear of spawn champions. I've escaped from angery warriors and I've picked fights with powerful mages. I've snuck into the most secure of houses and left with treasure in hand. I've tangled with the town guards and lost many atime. I've murdered the most innocent of miners with no regard for their life. I've even let myself die to the most speediest of speed hackers with no regard for mine.

But there is always something new. And today was such a day.

Here in my Forest of Sacrifice I find the Red Spawn Army and Lord Darkness with his fine looking steed, giant rune beetle, and his "I'm better than thou" attitude!

I look my foe in the eyes from a distance... but his eyes are blocked by his giant rune beetle. I follow him close.

And I find him to be a formidable foe! Unlike the tamers of the past, his pets shred through the red spawn like well trained assassins. Harpies, ogre, liches, lich lords, and dragons... it makes no difference.

He leads his beasts to the north and soon recalls away...

...but he'd be back. There was no reason for him not to. I sit and wait.

And he returns.

Satisfied that I can learn no more from my enemy from afar, I move in amongst the spawn and the beasts and set my greedy eyes on the contents of his pack.

His pack is filled to the brim! (But no scrolls.)

I dig deeper...

...and deeper...

...and deeper still!

And there it is! A treasure worthy of tonight's escapade.

*cough cough*

*gag gag*

My eyes begin to swell, my chest becomes heavy, and my senses can no longer tell if the pounding is from my head or my beating heart! His "I'm better than thou" attitude soffocates me now. Everything gets bendy and my breathes become short. His orders his minions to dismember his next red victim. I follow him close (but not too close), still fixated on the hammer pick, and watch him mark a rune for later use.


But enough was enough!

I take one deep breath, pinch my nose, creep in slowly, side-step the beasts, and feel the musk of his attitude grow heavier and heavier. I wouldn't have much time now. But I didn't need much for what I had in mind.

Pop open his inner packs, see my prize just asking to be taken, extend my arms, reach out my hands, go grey to the world, and... and...


My fingers fumble as they try to lift the 9 stone weapon. His musk clouded my vision! His attitude! It was was his attitude I tells ya'! Already in full sprint, I slow down my pace, dodge the spawn in front of me, find the shadows once again, turn around and go back for more.

And there he was. He didn't even flinch.

No wanting to brave his musk once more, I try a different tactic:

His hides and I wait.


I wait.


He speaks.

Lord Darkness: Why?
Lord Darkness: You already tried taking it once.

"And you failed... fucker." He mutters under his breath. At least, that's what I think he said. Either way, I found it offensive, childish, and very innapropriate.

*angry face*

Chad Sexington: I promise to leave you be for the rest of your travels.

*Lord Darkness pretends to ponder while he listens to this little fucker*

Lord Darkness: No thanks.

At any time, he could have given the word, and his beasts would have ripped me to shreds. Still hiding behind his beasts, I roll up my sleeves and don't bother hiding. I walk straight up and hope he's surprised by my suicidal nature. And... it works! He stands still and watches me as I walk 'round his beetle and mare. And now we stand side-by-side once again. In truth, I'm not too sure what I would have done if things went horribly, horribly wrong...

...but there was only one way to find out.

And just when I was in arms reach, I extend my paws, grab for the hammer pick once more, and... and...


Son of a bitch.

He trots to the north with his beetle and mare by his side.

The game of stealth was over. It would no only be settle by strength of will alone. He trots to then north and I follow on foot now in a full sprint.

"Kal Ort Por!" was his response.

And there I stand, alone and without my prize. Little did he know that my offer, that he brushed away so carelessly, only stands once.

If there were only a way to inform him of the error of his ways... hmmmm...


'Til next time!

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