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Episode 083: Chasing my tail at the Gate of Yew.

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Hail friends,

I return to the Yew Gate for the second night in a row to unboggle my boggled mind. I wasn't in the mood for more devil worshipping blue assassins and their struggles to find their virgin sacrifices to save their immortal souls! In fact, I wasn't in the mood for any mysteries at all. The plan was to sit my ass in Yew, chase my tail until dizzy, wipe vomit off my face, get up, and repeat these steps over and over... until my pockets were full and my mind was clear.

And tonight's crowd was sure to draw some treasure to be had.

Tonight's crowd mainly consisted of the largest gathering of /US\ I've ever seen. With a few G!B on one side, a few FOO on the other side, and random straglers scattered amongst the crowd. I target the straglers first and get to work.

A fine blade, but it wasn't enough. I return to the chaotic scene ready for more.

And as the dust settles, in a brief moment of clarity before the battle picks up once again, one warrior catches my eye. He approaches from the south, fresh from the gate.

I take a closer look...

...and find a treasure trove of treasure!

Normally, I'd snatch the first thing that glittered and sparkled in the moonlight, but this one was special. I keep digging and digging and dig some more. He runs off to join the others, but I wasn't finished with him just yet.

And there it is! The treasure I so rightly deserve!

Back and forth he rides. To the gate and back he dances. Back up to the house under siege, he makes his mistake, and stands in one spot for too long. It's not his fault really, but I intend to take advantage.

I move in from the west, side-step the reds, the blues, the poison fields, the energy fields, and the arrows. I dodge the blood, the guts, the unneccessary cursing, and the verbal cross-fire of questionable accuracy of accussations of each other's sexual orientation!

I line up to the side and prepare myself for a running grab.

I didn't have much time. Any moment now and his mount would take him round and round once more. No time to think and no time for hesitation.

I go straight into a sprint, shut my eyes, reach my arms out, flail them wildly, and clench my greedy fingers around the first thing they touch, and pray it's not a reproductive organ!

I look to the item in my hands, thank the gods it's not a penis, and I'm off!

...but I'm not alone!

Two of the calvalry give chase and from the looks on their faces, they're not ammused. I turn the corner of the house in front of me. I run as fast as my wolf paws will take me, but they gain ground despite my best efforts. Then... I halt my panic and remind myself, I have no reason to fear any dexer that walks this world.

Back to human form I go.

One shadow strike, one stealth, and one shadow jump later... and there they are by themselves, twiddling their thumbs in the middle of no where.


I stealth my way back into the heat of battle. With overflowing with treasure, I couldn't let him get away that easily. After searching farther and farther into his belongings, my mouth watered at the prospects:

...but he just wouldn't sit still. Try as I might, I missed every time. Always out of arms reach, he was. His jerk detector finally alarms to my presence and he's soon wisked away... out of my life forever.



I bank my goods, wipe the fresh vomit off my face, wait 'til my double vision lifts, and head back through the gate.

The main contingent of soldiers were all but gone. All that remained was a pair of KOS... and their crafter friend soon joined them.


I move in to catch up with my old friend.

"A bokuto? For me? No, no, I can't accept... but I have nothing for you." I try to plead my case but he just won't leave me be.

And upon further inspection... he was offering me the trash of the bunch! His inner pack contained two much more mighty swords.

One with insurance...

...the other with none.

A few steps to the north, he takes. But one step too few. Just one more step forward. Just one more to be out of the guard's protection.

I wait. I watch. I listen.

And then it happens.

I take what's mine, go grey to the world, and they don't even acknowledge my presence.

(Their jerk detectors must be broken.)


Ah, finally. A day madness. A day without mystery. Satisfied with my loot this day, I head home a happy man.

Yew has been good to me. I'll have to visit again some day.

*throws up a little in mouth*

'Til next time!

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