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Episode 064: The Miner, the Goddess, and the Thief (Part II)

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Hail friends,

(What's this?)

If you insist.

"Kal Ort Por!"

The serpent columns? And of course it would be. The greed of blackrock permeating through the lands...


They're having a blackrock party without me! I grab my party hat, put on my clean underpants, and take my monthly shower--post haste! It's been years since I've seen the mines as busy as they are this day. They come and they go. They mine their ore and tow their horses. miner, Heavenly Touch, TigerStyl, and foo all make their rounds and I snoop them all. Nothing too exciting, surely not enough to interrupt them while they mine my blackrock...


(Ok, I lied. miner had to die. He looked at me (and smelled!) funny.

Other than that brief moment of confrontation, there was nothing too exciting or worth noting until Walkdawg enters my life once again.

Like all the others, I move in to make my presence known.

(A little closer.)


A bag of sending! Ok, it might not be as glorious as a piece of blackrock, but you're forgetting one thing... it was Walkdawg's bag of sending! I ready my dagger and prepare my attack... but something catches my eye.

I look again to the right.

A mystery crate in the bags of his packy. Before I have a chance to act, Icy Goddess comes running in (this time showing off a little more skin), ruining our private moment, and opens a gate.

And I'm pretty sure she grabbed my ass.


(Ok, I lied. I grabbed hers.)

I wait around and watch the others as they work their craft. And be it fate, be it destiny, or whatever it may be, Walkdawg enters once again. I move in and intend to keep my mistakes minimal.

The crate! The 10 item, 74 stone, crate! I inspect it closely from a distance.

It never gains in weight.

*crosses out ore & ingots*

No items are ever added to its contents.

*crosses out granite*

And its content never decreases!

*crosses out spare shovels & pickaxes*

Walkdawg had a secret. And unfortunately for him, there was only one way for me to find out. He leads his pack llama and leads his (now bonded ^^) fire beetle up the hill.

I follow his lead.

I creep up from behind...

...side-step the fire beetle...

...and then the llama...

...and take what's mine.

I re-introduce him the my poison. The second dose from the same dagger feels like re-uniting with a long lost friend. (Or so I've been told.)

Death finally takes hold as I toss the llama a shuriken.

I quickly scavange through the remains of his embarassing looking body. I don't waste any time. Icy Goddess wouldn't be far behind. I go straight for the bag of sending and then the crate. I leave the rest as I shuriken the beetle just so it doesn't feel left out.

This all happens before Icy Goddess could recieve word, open her runebook, and come to the rescue.

(Too late.)

I skip across the bridge with my well earned prize. And when the coast is clear, I get what's coming to me.





Son of a bitch.

(Says the bag-of-sending-less dead man.)

He turns the corner to the bank with the sad looking fire beetle. I look the goddess up & down and... she seems to be receptive!

(Still got it.)

I make a pit stop at the bank, while the goddess stares me down and circles me not saying a word. I begin to leave when--

"Wait a sec." she says.


I turn. I pause. I wait.


I pause. I wait. I stand.

(Why do I get the feeling the gods are being summoned on account of my actions? ^^)

I wait. I stand. I leave.

Thinking nothing of it, halfway home it finally hits me! If my instincts are right (and they usually are), she wanted sex with me! Oh how foolish I've become!

"Want to play?" she said. "My husband is dead to me." she grinned.

I run home, change into her dead husband's clothes, and return so she can take advantage of me (sexually!).

"Honey I'm home! I'm in a rush but I have just enough time for 'that thing' I like." I announce with a smile.

Alas, my wife, my beloved... my goddess was not there to greet me. If not this time, then the next. Next time I'll come prepared and be ready to express my love more openly. Next time, my love.

Next time.

(I look forward to our next encounter.)

"You're low if the only people you can kill is Miner."

(I love you too!)

'Til next time!

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