Hail friends,
With my thirst for Alacrity finally quenched last night, you'd think I'd be satisfied with my victory. My recent addiction to these neon scrolls (and the bottomless pit of greed that is my heart) says otherwise.
On the hunt again, attempting to keep potential victims on their toes, this time the story begins in the Forest of Sacrifice.
(What's this?)Dethstalker. (Still warm.)
She wasn't having a good night from the looks of it. I move in for a closer look.If she wouldn't bother to come back and claim her 198 bandages, she wouldn't be back at all. I quickly survey the area, not expecting to find anyone at all. And no one is fount.
BUT!
If her newly found addiction is as great as mine, she would stop at nothing (and do [i]anything[/i]) until she got her fix! The facts were laid out before me. Still as hard headed as I am, I do a 2nd sweep around the Sacrifice shrine. Dis-heartened, I reluctantly head back to the city of Compassion.
I'm not disappointed.Dethstalker alive and well. (And she brought a friend!)
The two scroll addicts with their dialated pupils, elevated heart rates, and increased libido, take their puppies in search for their next hit.
I watch them fumble their movements and slur their speech. It takes all my concentration to control my own case of the "shakies." I convince myself the prize will be well worth the torture. And in a moment when things were particularly chaotic, I make my move.
I hold my breath, clench my butt-cheeks, and convince myself that this will be the last time. "Just one last time." I tell myself. I reach in, I grasp the scroll, and I dodge the red spawn army as I run inbetween the houses of Compassion!
My shakies subside!
I return to Luna Bank and make safe my prize!I should be grateful of my success. I should be satisfied with my luck. I should...
...but I'm not. One last nagging thought gives me pause.
Daniellaangelo. Who knows what treasures she carries? For all I know Dethstalker and her puppy never noticed a thing and remain in the city hunting the red spawn as I stand here thinking aloud. For all I know Dethstalker and Daniellaangelo were high fiving each other, taking out their secret stash of dozens of scrolls, and laughing, poiting, and making fun of the silly thief who took the decoy scroll.
How rude.I return to the city and there they remain. Just as I suspected.
One of the locals tests the waters, approaches the visitors, senses no hostility, and goes about her business.
A second time we must do this dance. I watch. I wait. I do the best I can and supress my shakies.
(The horney women were not going to make this easy.)
(They never do.)It takes a while, but I creep up to my target. I creep in, take a peek in her pack, and accidentally brush against her boob.
(It was the shakies! The shakies I tell you!)Nothing.
I should be satisfied with my performance. I should be comforted knowing that they were not up to any hidden, alacrity, anti-Chad shinnanigans after all! I should...
...but I'm not. Once last nagging thought gives me pause.
Fallon. Who knows what treasures she carries? For all I know, Fallon and her Quantum Realm buddies were holding an Alacrity Bon Fire as I sit her thinking aloud. For all I know, the only reason they collect these scrolls at all, is to store them until their chests can hold no more, throw them into a pit, light them all on fire, put on body paint and dance around like wild savages while burning my like-ness in effigy.
How rude.
Under the cover of their own houses, I make my approach.One step. Then the next. I inch closer to my mark.
I get in close. So close. (Close enough to accidentally brush against her boob.)
As she fells another pair of red spawn minions, I take a peek inside her backpack.
Nothing.
I spot a second bag in the bottom of her own. And again, nothing but few regs.
I do a double take as I glance again at the first pack.*shits pants*
She must have looted the scroll this very second!
How thoughtful. ^^I take what's mine and run as fast as I can and don't stop until I'm outside the city's borders. (One less scroll to use in your bon fire. Sucker!)
I return to Luna Bank and make safe my prize (and to keep the other company).Victory!...
...
One last thought nags at me. (My thoughts nag a lot. What do you want?)
What if this was all a ruse? What if Fallon was the decoy? What if, at this very moment, the rest of the citizenry of the entire City of Compassion was half way around the world, high-fiving each other, while they happily hunt to their heart's content in the Forest of Sacrifice!
How rude.
I zip across the land with the help of my own arcane magiks, to show them that they wouldn't get the best of me! I return to the location where this adventure started, to this Forest of Sacrifice, to show that their trickery would not go undetected! I go to show--
*walks too close to a pissed off dragon and is revealed*Alas, now it would be my remains that another inquisitive adventurer would find.
(How embarassing.)
'Til next time!