Hail friends,
They'll never know why I do any of it.
They'll be scratching their heads, high fiving their buddies, pointing, laughing, and judging the ironies that are my life.70mil for a bless deed? (+10mil for transportation.)
"Just pay 600gp for insurance." They'd tell me. "Paying more for a bless deed only to use on a 20mil item. Dumbass. Rofl." They heckle and holler.
"I find your name extremely offensive..." Lady Reba begins, "...The next time I see you, I'll report you." Lady Reba finishes with her silver spoon firmly crammed up her anus.
I proceed, I purchase, and I grin like I've never grinned before.I tell the friendly bear, "Good day, and I thank thee." But all he does is stare back and starts chewing on the checks.
They'll never know why I do it, even if I sit them down and explain through my words......so I decide to explain it (in great detail) through my actions instead. ^^
Let me help you with those bags. (They look heavy.) Too heavy for me to lift undetected, but he still may meet an unfortunate fate if I stick around long enough. I wait and I stay close. With G!B on the left, Wtf? on the right, and everyone else in the middle, I take advantage of the chaos.
They fail to penetrate the gi-normous blue blob of warriors before he realizes his extra baggage. (Nuts!)
But I spy something else to my liking.A mighty cleaver!
I stay close, but the winds pick up and the cloud moves to the north.
Closer and closer I move towards my target. And when the perfect moment comes...
...a flamestrike to the face ruins his day! I scramble to reap the spoils of (their) battle. No need to be shy, no need to remain hidden.Success!
I bank my new toy and return, just long enough for them to think I'm gone.
3 blues, 1 red, and a cow greet me as I enter. I drop the cow, 2 blues jump the red, 1 more blue & 1 grey appear from the right, and 1 more red flashes his tag around the house! Cats wearing hats! Dogs driving cars! And 1 more blue pops out the gate on top of me!
The chaos! The madness! (The perfect distraction.)My arm flails wildly, my arm bumps a blue, and my fingers touch... a treasure!
I grab it and go grey to the eight people surrounding me. I brace myself for a hally-wack to the forehead, but they're too busy with their own mischief to call for guards!Even I'm not sure what I've taken!
Marvin of KoVv leaves me a few emotional words and jumps the gate once more.
"Fucking Chad, get a life."
(Make me.)
"...that must be pretty boring getting one 'good' steal once a month or something." They'd say. "I'll just sit on the sidelines... and spend my time doing something more worthwhile like sheering sheep." They'd tell me.
("You and your homophobic fans." They'd harass me.)
I may have to explain it again in the future, but I'll try my best right now:
It's the looks on their faces (and the glory!)
'Til next time!