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Episode 050: Super Happy Fun in the Dead of Night.

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Hail friend,

*eyeballs bulletin board*
Here ye! Here ye! Come one! Come all!

The Hunter Gatherer Association of the Free Peoples of Sosaria invites you to the Super Happy Fun Annual Resource Gathering Bonanza Extravaganza!
The bonanza extravaganza! How could I be so glib! To the great forests, to the mineral rich mountains, to the lush pasteurs of this world I would go! The resource gatherers were out tonight, and I intended to meet them head on.

*puts on super happy fun hat*

I pick up a scent.

Wolves and ogres. Blood and guts... but no gold?

(The hunt begins.)

Hides, feathers, and meat. I knew what to expect from them, but I wanted more.

...Perhaps they were the ones who expected me?

"To kill her, or not to kill her?" I ponder.

I ponder and ponder and ponder some more. Against my better judgement I leave this one be. I didn't want Maria to tip off the other hunter gatherers to my intentions this night. I turn the corner, through the forest, across the bridge, and along the mountain side...

Even Nadia was invited to the extravaganza! I stop by to say hello.

My shuriken miss it's mark but I don't have to time to curse the gods tonight. The hunter gatherers were on the move. I can sense in in air. I can taste it in the dirt.

I pick up another scent.

(More hunter gatherers were about.)

A chicken?

All the way to the coast and my trail runs cold! I look to the north and south. I look high and low and leave no stone unturned. Where could he go? Where could he be?

...a boat?

"You think you can best me!?" I shout out to the mid-night sun. I launch a boat of my own, put on my clean underwear, cross my fingers, and hope for the best. I follow the scent across the great seas of this world. I trek through the worst of storms. It's faint, but it's it's still there. The setting sun and the great nocturnal eye of the world are my friends...

...friends that enjoy watching me die as I soon run out of rations. (Bastards.)

Land! Land in the distance! One week on this boat and finally! Land at last!

This great new land will by my hunting ground. A place that where nobody knows my name. A place where tamers & bards hunt frequently with very expensive treasures. Streets paved with gold! WITH GOLD! It becomes larger in the distance. I can make out a mountain and soon the underlying trees! And something else...? It's...


A corpse of a chicken... by the looks of it... roughly a week old.



*throws super happy fun hat on the ground and beats is mercilessly*

I punch it and kick it. And kick it some more. And when I can kick no more I collapse. "Worst Super Happy Fun Day. Ever." I mumble. "Should I have ended Maria's life, taken what spoils I could, and be grateful?"

Too many questions.

After I finish soaking in my own self pity, I make my way towards Brit Gate.


(What's this?)


Ah! Amidst all the riddles and double-talk, through all the puzzles and rhetorical inside-jokes, this is the answer! To the untrained eye one might assume Cheetara is a miner or a hunter of wolves or some other type of proposterous game.

*places glib hat on imaginary reader*

(Don't be glib.)

But under the scrutiny of my deductive reasoning with layers upon mis-guided layers of experience -- I can tell a lumberjack when I see one! ^^

*places smart hat on self*

Poor, poor, Cheetara. She'll be unable to participate in the rest of the Super Happy Fun Festivities.

(Festivities she's been looking forward to for the past year.)

*super happy sad face*

(I look forward to next year's congregation.)

'Til next time!

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