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Episode 025: Fun with Poison (Part III)

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Hail friends,

With a new beginning I felt it was time for a change. I would say goodbye to my beloved purple cloak in favor of:

1x Blessed Ornament of the Magician
1x Inquisitor's Resolution
1x Crystalline Ring
1x Crimson Cinture
120x Million Gold Piece Checks

Good fortune would come my way in the near future and I had to be prepared to break it's legs before it could get away. I stare at myself in a my mirror for 20 minutes and reienforce my self-confidence.

"You are sexy."

"You are beautiful."

I repeat over and over while I smile ear to ear. My depression leaves through my mouth and confidence enters my nostrils with every breath. Sosaria here I come!

The wind is blowing towards Despise. So I follow...

It wasn't long before I discovered Lord M'Tuok battling the fearsome brutes. I watch him. Follow him. I attempt to get close enough to peek inside his packs unnoticed.

To my dissapointment, after what seems like days trying to get close enough, there were no Books of Truth to be found. No riches for me to liberate. And between the weapons such as the kryss in his pack and the strength of the mighty ogre slaying warrior, I decide to leave him be. This was not a fight I could win.

I started to feel those familiar feelings. Self-doubt. Self-loathing. I remind myself of how sexy and beautiful I am by chanting it over and over as I drag my feet and make my way out of the cave.

::Don't let them see you cry Chad::



AH-HA! So after all this time you did heed my warning never to stray inside that cave where we first met!

But the sight of you makes me vomit. I prepare my dagger.

I beautifully creep toward the trespasser and make ready my sexual onslaught.

The first swing I deliver spreads lethal poison through her veins. I swing wildly to finish the job but she calls upon the divine power from up on high. Why the holy gods would grant her wish, the wish of a roach such as her I'll never know.

She dissapears in front of my eyes, but I do not fret. No doubt her body collapsed to the floor moments later. She'll think twice before she decides to mine in my presence in the future.

My sexual onlaught didn't last as long as I had hoped, but I got the job done.

*pats self on back*

I recall back to Luna ready to call it a day well lived. I glance at the floor and try to ignore it. I take two steps away and stop short.

It beckons.

A feluccan vendor rune?

I look again.

"Come here and die." It says.

*cracks knuckles*

Don't mind if I do.

The great City of Compassion!

I arrive with style but am saddened for two reasons:

1. All these long years I've heard rumors that the City of Compassion greets you with naked women to feed you delicious grapes. Now which I can confirm to only be a rumor.

2. I've come here to die and am sadly dissapointed!

I decide to stick around. If there is one thing I will not stand for, is false advertising! I say to ensure their next visitor will recieve the death they seek.

But the only one who shows is Kastro of the Quantum Realm of the City of Compassion. Perhaps this city is not as deserted as it seems.

I take a walk around the huge city.

Hello there Jane. ^^

I check the door.


I check the other and it swings open.

I pause to see if she notices my presence. She doesn't move. It seems all too easy. It might be a trap. I take my time to inspect my surroundings. Not a sound.

I remain hidden as I take a look into her packs. Some gold and some bandages. I am determined not to leave without a trinket to call my own, but even the lap harp is insured!

My tears now turn to rage. If not in gold then in glory she will pay!

I loot Jane's body, grab a deadly poisoned shuriken, and leave her puppy with a parting gift. The city sirens alarm, the call to arms is issued and an entire legion of Quantum Realm zealots lead by Lord Book Master is there to defend it's citizens!

(Too late.)

With that many warrios I wouldn't have a chance, but my curiousity gets the best of me. I stealth a few houses away to cast wraith form and return.

But no one is left to greet me and defend the now private house.

I check the vendor once more and stay a while, but there are no more visitors.

The City of Compassion has been good to me. I'll have to visit again some time.

'Til next time!

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