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Episode 024: Quest for Truth?

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In September of 2006, after taking a few months away from Ultima Online, I came back to the game and was ready to pick up right where I left off. I had yet to complete everything I set out to do and this time I wasn't going to stop until I was done. As for the Mis-adventures themselves, I still had yet to carve out and settle on my own brand of storytelling. Up until now, some of the things I did (and wrote) were more entertaining than others. Some of it worked and some of it didn't and in the coming months everything would slowly fall into place.

Either way, there was a lot more treasure to be had and as it turned out, I was just warming up.

This is where the second chapter of the Mis-adventures begins.

Hail friends,

Snow on the ground? I must have overslept. No time to stop and smell the roses. No time to dodge the yellow snow.

No time!

Word has spread to my ears even now of a new treasure to be had. My stinky little friend the carrier pigeon recognizes me even now and sends word to old friend long since past.

But the news of this treasure has spread quickly, and strange travellers from distant fuzzy, cluddy. wubbly lands are now romping through these lands as well.

They must be stopped.

I do what I must and head straight to Covetous.

It's not too long before I meet my first victim. Piglet of SoN is here. With his attention pre-occupied with wet day dreams of dread spiders and water elementals, I creep in for a closer look.


Accomplishing this quest will be harder than I had anticipated. Queer forces are at work here. Fighting me. Resisting me. Queer forces await me at the gates of hell.

The yellow snow packed inbetween my toes now melts.

Queer forces indeed. With nothing but self-loathing and mis-placed depression for me here, I make my way back to the bank. The truth is out there. I just need to get my mojo back.

Another friendly face. But she also does not have what I seek.


Ah! A lone warrior slaying the beasts? Surely a warrior as great as this has what I seek.

*snoops pack*


Victory is mine! Victory is upon me! Victory is--

She left.

I fight the forces with everything I can muster, but it would seem it is not enough. And as fast as she left, she is back again. Were the books still on her? I move in closer once again. And just as I'm about to take another peek...

*Smokey Pipe is attacking IDNC!*

A stealth archer!

It doesn't take long before she drops. I have to act fast. I shadow jump next to her body and open her corpse. Next to Smokey Pipe who is doing the same. The books are gone.

I must have surprised him as much as he surprised me. It took him a couple seconds to ackowledge my presence. And when he finally did, I was gone.

I loot what he left behind. With the dungeon empty once again, I quickly drop the gold at the bank and return to find another visitor.

A lone tamer with a vicious little pup.

Wave after wave of dragons come and go as the puppy devours them all one-by-one. But is something bothering me. Nagging me. Why do I get the feeling like I've seen him before? Seen him? No. Something else.

Is this the truth that I seek?

The gold flows freely now. The tamer leaves me many opportunities and reasons to end it right now, take my spoils, and call it a day. But I wait.

My patience pays off. I hear that queer little chime that puts a smile on my face. A book of truth has dropped. But I'm not in position! I don't waste time digging through the corpses. I shadow jump next to QEQE, open his pack, and let him do the work. The book falls into place.

"An Lor Xen!" he says.

I target the book, reach out with my hands, grab the book, and I'm off even before he's finished reciting his incantation.


The truth? Seen him before? Nay! Smelt him! It was his bodily waste that now lingers between my toes!


For that foul deed, I still owe him ten-fold.

(I look forward to repaying that debt.)

'Til next time!

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