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Episode 019: Lizardmen, Bears, and Boats. OH MY!

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Hail friends,

The chatter of the local bank is the same as usual...

--with a slight increase in sales of stolen scrolls.

(What to do?)

*scans surroundings*

An insured ship key? No one's stupid enough to store a key in one of the public chests at the bank... are they?

The UO gods know I have nothing to lose (and everyone else who's killed me).

*strangles adventure by the throat*

*crosses fingers*

As I suspected, another dud. I lay my tried feet to rest... but fate would not have me slack off for long.

[Guild Chat]: There's a guy scripting leather at despise.

*ears perk up*

I grab my special scripter shurikens marked with "crotch goes here" and I'm off!

*sniff sniff*

Urine bathes the walls and dark corners of the dungeon. Many warriors have passed through these halls--their territory clearly marked.

*rushes past the words "me RoXx0rz j00" spelt in ancient markings on the wall*

Tou·ché my noble lord, tou·ché.

hm... scripter or just an afk warrior. At this point it makes no difference. With my tiny legs knee deep in lizardmen intestines, I take a peek at his belongings...


It would seem my earlier encounter at the bank was a sign for things to come.

With no reason to kill him I put my dagger away. His continuous donation of spined leather is greatly appreciated!

My feelings are torn. Deep Rising could wake up from his hypnosis at any minute but he still had a healthy supply of arrows that I wanted to relieve him of (what are friends for?) What's a thief to do?


I leave Arrr to finish up here while I check on the boat. The beauty of multi-tasking.

*steps outside*

"Kal Ort Por"


It would seem I would have to work for my meal! A bunk boat key would not have given me any message at all--

--to t2a I go!

First stop, Terra Sanctum. Have invaders entered my domain? HOW DARE THEY.

*I pack my trusty invader shurikens, I put on my "Smite Thee" hat , and I'm off!*

A northern wind takes me there in record time. I wonder what will be waiting for me? A rare sighting of the VnV perhaps? My old friend Picus ready for round 2?

The closer I got to shore, the greater my anticipation grew. Something was in the air.

I set sail for the beeches, ready to slow & drop anchor, until my worst fear become reality. BEARS. Bears in the distance! And not just any bear, it's the flea-ridden he-devil that uses paw prints as death threats.

I'm unsure if he spots me (they have poor eye-sight). With no time to slow the boat, I quickly hide and brace myself for impact.

With a crash and a shake (and a crashing shake) it comes to a halt. Then the northern wind betrays me as my glory fills the air, and the bear picks up the scent.

I scramble for my boat key and lock the gang plank... He knows something's up. He boards the ship to my left and although I am invisible he senses my greatness--somewhere. He launches a boat and flanks me to the right. But with all his furocity, it's all in vain. He efforts are useless and his access is denied.

The short-term memory of the bear takes over and he orders his tillerman to chase something to the east... a dolphin I think...

Dry ground at last.

All is well, but this is not the reason I came. I check the shores and only to find a single dragon boat. I hold my breath and try the boat key on the lock.


It doesn't fit.

*jams key against the padlock*


With a second look along the shores I find nothing here for me, but I won't quit now. Not when I'm so close. I head back to the docks of Papua.

...My pride is now running low, but I have one final stop to make...

Up and down the coast line I check. The peninsula? Nay.

Around the alter of Oasis? Nope.

Near the Ophidians perhaps?



*rolls sleeves*

*cracks knuckles*

I lay down my packs from my aching back. I grasp the key in my hand, put it to the lock, push, and turn.


*pee's pants*

I thank thee! ^^

(originally posted by Arrr)

I started the night with a plan to take a walk in my old neighborhood.

And decided that since unsavories like myself were known to be about, I'd better stay undercover.

Found myself at the door of Despise and decided to throw caution to the wind and see what I might find there.

I decided to go upstairs since I was fairly sure I could outrun the lizardmen.

I have to admit I was a bit startled to realize I was not alone.

My new friend was apparently no longer able to carry his heavy burden.

Just to be safe, I will put it away for him.

And still he drops more! Wait, I know this guy. I have a tailor friend who's been on the wrong end of his mace a time or two while minding her own business!

I took a closer look, and yessir, that's the guy. I recognize him from his wanted poster in my dear lady's tailor shop.

Still he drops more leather at my feet. I think he's seen the error of his ways and wants to repay my dear lady friend for the trouble he and his friends have caused in the past.

I believe we can consider this debt to be paid. And I was relieved to have not felt the wrath of his mace.

But greed got the best of me as it always does, and I gloated too soon.

Humbled but still richer than I was before this fortunate walk through Despise, I put my clothes back on. One leg at a time.

Cheese! And thanks for the memories!! How many pirate hookers will this buy me?

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