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Episode 010: Bear Necessities

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Any of various usually omnivorous mammals of the family Ursidae that have a shaggy coat and a short tail and walk with the entire lower surface of the foot touching the ground.

That must be the source of their power--"walk with the entire lower surface of their foot touching the ground."


'Tis true that my body was not constructed to work this way, but their power will be mine--at any cost.

*right foot*

*left foot*

*right... left... right...*

*waddle waddle waddle*

It's not as hard as it looks. I'll be invincible in no time. ^^

I waddle my way to brit gate to share the good news. But it seems I am not alone in my search for greater power.

The Fat Kid must also be investigating the bears. Instead of the waddle he chose to be omniverous. His belly was glistening with blinding lard. It was glorious. And as I much as I admire the ambition of his ways, this is a competition. I attempt to distract him in his search for power... but how? What's a thief to do? *grin*

News has spread of increased bear sightings throughout the land. I had to see it for my own eyes, and it indeed was true.

My heart sinks as I confirm this most troubling news. There was only one course of action to take. Travel across the land to their breading grounds. Long ago I visited their fortress, but that was with the aid of a red gate. I check my pockets and find my old tattered journals revealing the surrounding geography. This could be done.

I shut my eyes, spin three times, and pick a random moongate. Fate dictates my journey to begin at Minoc moongate.

*waddle waddle*

I must be on the right path, their scent is in the air.

The city of Vesper was a ghost town. Increased bear sighting have chased away the locals. Now more than ever I hunger for their power, for when I set foot in front of locals they usually point and laugh... one day I'll learn who keeps sticking a "Smite Thee" note on my back. Real mature.

*pumps fist*

As I practice my waddle I hear a shuffle from a nearby bush.

*quickly hide*

I take a closer look and find Terrance the wandering healer hiding... and has pee'd his robes. "The Fat Man" he says, "The Fat Man was eaten by bears!"

My competition is gone! I move in for a high five, but he would have none of it! What was his problem? He might want to wash those robes. With the bears having their fill I could move freely among them. I must be getting closer.

What's this?

*waddle waddle*

Old habbits die hard. The front door was open. It would be rude of me if I didn't at least take a look around. I try not to disappoint.

More goodies for me? I return later and take my fill...

I thank them with the traditional flaming bag of poo, bank the potions (courtesy of OSI), and comtinue on my journey. I'm close. I can feel it.

And there it is...

The bear fort! mwahaha... the site of many adventures to come. And my luck would have Rosh the bear inhabiting their musky lair. I knock on their front door--no answer. I dress up as a female bear and start cooing--no answer. It's possible he's hybernating, or has had enough bear-on-bear action already today. Frustrated I take drastic measures.

I dress up as a helpless fat man--and I finally get a visitor!

A figure comes running from the distance! Could it be? I squint my eyes are find out who my new companion truely is...

Crystal from G*U--in search of hot fat man action--gallops in my direction. Like a frightened turtle I hide. She surveys the area but clearly disappointed. After a few moments she recalls away...

All is not lost. I can't underestimate the bears, as The Fat Man did. Hunting bear takes preparation and patience. Their den of hot-polygamous-bear-on-bear-action was well protected. When they finally arrived I would need a way to lure then out into the open.

I check my stock of Large Sacrificial Fat Men--I was all out.

But as the popular saying goes: "No bear can resist tastey panther." (Or so I've heard.)

I would have test this theory.

A few days later, with bears on the prowl I make my way back to their breading den.

I give them the offering hoping they would take the bait.

"Arhoo! Arhoooooo!" I call out to them with their own mating call.

Flick from B-C was first to answer.

My overconfidence was my undoing. I underestimated their power.

Everything was in place. I offer them a nearby panther carcas. As the scent of rotting panther fills the air, the bears scramble. I make my way around the corner but my feet fumble. My waddle was not perfected! I trip, my cover is blown, and Flick thanks me with three arrows in the back.

Drunk with power I was.

Perhaps I should have held on to the explosion potions. Perhaps OSI took over the house for a reason, to shelter travellers as they lost their way.

Perhaps I am just a fool.


I wake up with a hangover of fury.

*I check my pockets*

(You never know what you'll find in them. ^^)

And I find a note from King Scoundrel:

"thats right, i have absolutley no skill to GM yet and i just got my first 120!

Courtesy of Mythran of B-C! i got the bears first chad!"

(originally posted by Phanaun Mizzrym)

A strange but potentially dangerous scent fills the air…
*Remembers the smell in Destard as he looted corpses*

Sweeping back and forth the scent draws him to another rune

Nobody home for the bear to play with….sighs

Decides to leave his mark and a present for this mysterious guild

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